I was typing a new entry about one of my life experience just now and was looking for a picture related to the entry. So, after months..I logged into my friendster account. And when I browsed it for a while, the memories kicked in. SO, I just deleted the 3-paragraphs of typing and started a new entry. Don't want to made the previous one a draft coz I might just forgot about it later.
When I browsed some of my friends' account, looked at their pictures..a sense of enexplainable feeling gushed deeply in me and I felt a various sensation of feelings. Empty, Relieved, Missing, Happy, Sad..and lots more. I don't have the slightest clue the reason I'm feeling them right now.
Looking at my friends' adorable kids, their new-born babies, their new things in their lifes, seeing how they live their lifes, seeing my old pictures during matriculation college where we posed like the special war team in the dragonball comic book..it makes me feeling..ahh..I dunno how to describe it.
They have their own lives now. They live their daily life with so much differences then how it used to. But the old pictures remain there as an acknowledgements of how they lived their lifes once upon a time. How they used to be so close to me, how they used to be friends whom laughed together with me, friends whom endured so many painful memories with me. How much I miss those moments.
I always fantasizing that I've been given a special oppurtunity to live every day of my life in the past everytime I sleep at night. A night for a day in my past life. Won't that be awesome?? We could live the past again and wake up the next morning in my recent life. It's not turning back the time. But living back the past. Or anything else you could name it. How wonderful it would be???
Ahhh..I don't know what am I feeling right now. I want to perform my prayer hoping I could get a nice piece of peaceful feeling after that. I think the correct word to describe my feeling now is...MISSING..